It's hard to believe it's Thursday already. Thankfully, it's been really quiet these last few days and lord knows I needed the peace after the marathon of a weekend I had. Now, because I spent my time partying and gyrating like a lunatic pole dancer all over Manhattan, my body aches in places that I never thought possible. I'm not sure who I was kidding carrying on like that, since the extra five seconds that it takes me to go from sitting to standing is a clear sign that osteoporosis is setting in.
It's a miracle I even made it through, because let's be honest I'm not the spring chicken I used to be. If I wasn't in denial about my geriatric status, I would've carried Bengay in my clutch instead of bronzer, which is so unnecessary, as it's dark in the club, and after a few drinks nobody gives a shit about my perfectly contoured face. But my knees, they could've definitely used a once over, since as my buzz wore off, I instantly regretted all my fancy footwork.
I just should've stayed home and left all the hip thrusting to the young kids. But no, there I was dipping it low and picking it up ever so slowly to beat of any random song where some artist demanded that type of acrobatics. All that booty working just earned me an extra application of icy hot. Clearly, I'm too old for this shit, and the sooner I face the facts the sooner I can stop pretending that nonstop gyration isn't hard on my knees, let alone my back.
Besides, I think the gig is up anyway. Before, I used to get carded, now they just wave me in like I have progeria. I mean is it that obvious that I'm the old broad in the club looking like somebody's mother or broken down older sister?! Maybe it's the aroma of Bengay that gives me away, and not the obvious crows feet that has attacked my face.
Either way, it's painfully obvious that I'm not fooling anyone, and at this point it sorta reeks of desperation. So, before I embarrass myself any further or someone calls me ma'am one more motherfucking time, I'm gonna respectfully, and with the last remaining ounce of self respect, bow out of that life.
From now on you'll primarily find me with all the other dinosaurs at mixers or lounges, where dreams go to die, and thrusting in any capacity is frowned upon, and thank goodness because I just can't do it like I used to.
Enjoy your day! Thanks for stopping by<3